A Biography of Mike Oppenheim
By Mike Oppenheim
Michael Anthony Oppenheim currently resides in the United States of America, although Mr. Oppenheim confesses to having his doubts about just how united those states are these days. Mike was born on June 30, 1981 in the quiet New York City suburb of Mt. Kisco, New York. After a short stint as a lawyer in New York, Mike's father, Len Oppenheim, moved the family (including Mike's older brother, Sam Oppenheim
After nearly one year of
professionally gambling on Greyhound dog races, the family packed up and
moved to the tiny, boring little town of Orinda, California, located
twenty minutes from San Francisco, in the Bay Area of California. It
was here that Mike resided from the age of three until his high school
graduation in June of 1999, at the age of eighteen, and it is also here
that Mike began his life long obsession with writing, and with the Oakland Athletics
Mike next moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and began attending The University of Pittsburgh in August of 1999, where in four years he completed a bachelor of arts degree in Film Studies and English Literature. He considers these studies to be the "perfect degrees for working in the service industry," which is exactly what Mr. Oppenheim started doing to support himself upon his graduation in April of 2003.
Following his college experience, Mr. Oppenheim moved to Ithaca, New York to start a surf-acid-garage-rock-neo-grunge band (Punchclock ) with two high school friends; Franck Rey Herme and Al Frenklach. The band stayed together for nearly two years, reaching moderate success (their debut record,"Surprise Me" garnered Best New Rock Album of the year in the Ithaca Journal for 2005.)
Following a two-year stint as a restaurant manager in Ithaca, New York, Mr. Oppenheim, seeking to put an end to an existential crisis, saw an astrologer, reflected on the cosmos and the absurdity of it all, and promptly decided to move back West, citing "irreconcilable differences" with the East Coast. After reading a book on Advaita Philosophy, Mr. Oppenheim decided it would be a fun experiment to roll a die with six locations attached to the various numbers on the die, and move to the city that the die landed on. With one roll of the die, the die landed on the number three, and so Mike moved the next day, June 11th, 2005, by car, from Ithaca, New York to Portland, Oregon.
It is in Portland that Mr. Oppenheim finally began to pay heed to an inner voice's incessant urges to write more prose, and less poetry and music. Despite a lifelong affinity for Music, and an obnoxious obsession with the bands Nirvana, Pavement, Spoon, and Radiohead, Mike has shifted most of his focus into writing and away from music and restaurant work.
When asked to share what others would call his "influences," Mr. Oppenheim quickly cites: "Nirvana, Pavement, Pink Floyd, Kurt Vonnegut, Ernest Hemingway, Aldous Huxley, John Steinbeck, and Evan Williams three year Whiskey." Then he thinks about what he just said, and says, “I am my own influence,” because he thinks that it sounds more mature.
Mr. Oppenheim has written one novel, "Dysfunction," which is due for publication in June of 2009. He is also the author of countless short stories, essays, and editorials. Mr. Oppenheim is currently working on a second novel, "Baby Doll," as well as a collection of Essays entitled "Green Grass," and plans to head back in school for a Masters Degree in the Fall of 2009. It is rumored by the illuminati that upon his death, millions will begin to read, and appreciate the words of the one and only Michael Anthony Oppenheim, but until then, it is more than likely that he will remain in the middle class, mostly anonymous, and without significant accolades, like so many of the great authors that preceded him. So be it.
All Material Copyright 2008 Mike Oppenheim
USA